


The shit I come up with at like 1.30 am.

by diamondmemes



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, did i say headcanons i meant fanons, headcanons, ill add more tags later, ill go home now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-01-07 19:21:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12239112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diamondmemes/pseuds/diamondmemes





	1. First Set of hcs

Hello and welcome ALL to The Shit I Come up with at 1.30 am! Take a seat, mfs.<

 

HEADCANON #1:  
When Allura was telling everyone which lion they would pilots, they were in frame (duh) but LEMME EXPLAIN!

Pidge and Hunk were the only ones in frame when she described what kind of paladins the yellow and green lions are looking for. Pidge and HUnk end up being the only pilots for those lions.  
Allura doesn't get to say what the blue lion looks for in a paladin because SOMEONE had to interrupt.(coughlanceareyouseriousrncough) but the only two people in those two frames are allura and lance. ALLURA GOES ON TO PIOLET THE BLUE LION. When she tells Keith that he will piolet the red lion, lance is also in frame. Lance goes on to piolet the red lion. Then, when she gives the black lion to Shiro, Keith is also in frame. Keith goes on to be the new leader of Voltron. but who's just b a r e l y in frame? L A N C E.

HEADCANON #2:  
Keith dies his hair black. because it's actually white. 'nuff said

HEADCANON #3:  
Would Keith watch conspiracy videos? kinda a fanon, but, like, think about it.

HEADCANON #4:  
Lance would play mystic messanger and this is how everyone finds out he's bisexual.

HEADCANON #5:  
speaking of, Lance is bi

HEADCANON #6:  
Lance will say things in Spanish he doesn't want the other paladins to hear. Not just comments about Keiths ass, but like stuff like  
"Fui yo quien tomó la última galleta, Pidge"  
(It was I who took the last cookie, Pidge)

 

HEADCANON #7:  
Allura had her eyes closed when she came out of the frozen sleep chamber thingy(can't remember what its called) because Alfor had to knock her out so she would get in. Coran (the gorgeous man) however, had his eyes opened when his pod opened. He willingly stepped into the pod, and I'm 99.99999969% sure the last thing he saw was King Alfor, hence the calm yet sad expression on his face.

HEADCANON #8:  
Lance is the queen of pda.

HEADCANON #9:  
All Of the paladins died a little (more) on the inside when pidge told them that "No more tears(crying) shampoo" was actually "no more tears(ripping apart) shampoo" and that's why it still hurt when it got into your eyes.

HEADCANON #10:  
this is one is weird, but like, think about how advanced the technology is now(in voltron), just on earth. IMAGINE HOW CRAZY THE SEX TOYS ARE?


	2. Lmao what did i even call the last chapter?

LEETTS GET RIIIIGHT INTO THE NEWWWS

 

HEADCANON #11  
Okay so this is more of a theory, but, like. FUCK. HOW DID THE WORMHOLE OPEN IN EPISODE ONE? It's not like Coran or Allura could open one, cause those mfs were blacked tf out. Did the blue lion open it? DID LANCE OPEN IT???? THESE ARE VALID QUESTIONS!!!!1!111!

HEADCANON*#12  
(if it has a star it's a ship related hc)  
Lance  
/lans/  
noun  
1\. a long weapon for thrusting( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), having a wooden shaft( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and a pointed steel head( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), formerly used by a horseman in charging.

KEITH USES A SWORD???? COINCIDENCE?? I THINK NOT.

HEADCANON #13  
Lance is probably really good at twister. He must be very flexible ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

HEADCANON* #14  
Matt and Shiro (since they graduated together) probably liked to fuck with the teachers.  
(Space parents???????)

HEADCANON *#15  
Lance: this is Halloween, this is Halloween...  
Keith: pumpkins scream in the dead of night...  
Everyone else, including my houseplant: ITS AUGUST YOU FUCKERS

HEADCANON* #16  
UMMMM, KEITH AND LANCE BUT AS THE THE CHARACTERS FROM "in a heartbeat"???????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came up with most of these while either shitting or rewatching Voltron.  
> also, sorry I could only come up with 6 this time. I saw that two people had left kudos on the last chapter, which much appreciated. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧


	3. 3rd set of hcs

UMMMMMM,,,,, SEASON 4 FRIGGN HECKED ME UP

!!!! SPOILERS UP AHEAD!!!! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!!!

 

anyways

HEADCANON 17(?)*  
matt(!!!) and lance overcompensate to hide the gay.

HEADCANON 18*  
same with Keith leaving voltron. he wants to distance himself from lance to hide the gay.

HEADCANON 19  
ya know that little cartoon pidge that shows up when she hacks into something? she programmed it to remind her that she's one step closer to defeating zarkon. shes doing g r e a t s w e e t i e i m s o p r o u d

HEADCANON 20  
Coran felt helpless when he bought that weird parasite egg thing. He usually feels helpless because hes stuck inside the castle all the time. He couldn't fly the red lion. He also self concious please validate the gorgeous man

HEADCANON 21  
(not a hc, but a question.)  
why does matt call pidge, pidge? where did that come from?

HEADCANON 22  
Pidge stared at screen so much she ended up needing the glasses.

HEADCANON 23  
The garrison offered to fix her eyes, like they did with matt, but it was one of the only things she had left of him, so she denied it.

HEADCANON 24  
so we all know the voltron chant is lost on keith, but how do you think he would handle the whole "sausage" trend.

LANCE, pounding on the wall:EVERY SAY SAUSAGE N' KEEP IT GOING! EGGS, BACON, GRITS,

SAUSAGE

PIDGE: IM 14 AND ID TAKE THAT(jk guys)

SAUSAGE

HUNK: I LOVE FOOD SO ILL EAT THAT

SAUSAGE

ALLURA:PULL UP ON IHOP ORDERING

SAUSAGE

CORAN: I DONT FLY A LION SO I HAVE TIME FOR

SAUSAGE

SAU SAU SAU SAU SAU SAU SAU SAUSAGE!!!!

KEITH: Oh, did hunk make sausage? its 15.30... 

EVERYONE: KEITHHHHHH


	4. 4th Set of Headcanons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooooooo so so so sorry I haven't updated this thing in months. I've been in a really bad place mentally recently and a nice comment I received on this finally encouraged me to get back to this.

(what headcanon number is this? I need to get my shit together)  
-Keith isn't half galra. HEAR ME OUT! Yes, there's no doubt that he has some galra running through his veins. but, think about it. hed LOOK more galra if he was half galra. Take Inuyasha from Inuyasha(go figure) for example. His father was full dog daiyoukai(basically a very powerful demon for all my non anime fans out there), and his mother a human. The resulting child, Inuyasha, is hanyou(half demon). Like his father, he has white hair. while his full-blooded relatives have elve like ears, Inuyasha has cute lil' puppy ears. When Inuyasha goes berserk mode, he gets jagged purple stripes on his cheeks, like his father. However, he can not transform into a giant dog like his full-blooded ancestors can. on a moonless night, Inuyasha reverts to being human. during this time, his hair and his eyes both turn black and he gets human ears. he also loses all of his demonic powers for the night. now, we know Keith's dad is a human. both from looks, and from his twang. we haven't seen his mother, but we do know she hasn't been in the picture for a while now. but COME ONE PEOPLE have you SEEN the galra? those fuckers look like walking fursuits. shouldn't Keith have like? yellow eyes? slightly purple features? ears? something? OPEN YOUR EYES. in conclusion, Keith is less than half galra.

-Lance had an emo phase. Ms. McClain knew what to do by then b/c lance is the youngest and she had done it ten times by then

-ya'll remember the scene where pidge cuts her hair off to join the garrison? does anyone also remember in Katie Perry's music video for "part of Me" where she cuts her hair and joins the army? hm?????

-speaking of pidge and her hair; I'm totally fine with fics and stuff that give pidge gender-neutral pronouns. but like, if you watch her "coming out" scene, she says "I'm a girl" also, the only reason she cuts her hair and "changes" her name is so she can hide her real identity to get into the garrison.

-(more pidge I'm sorry I lof her) um??? the reason the mice knew she was a girl??? fucking peeping toms????

~BONUSBONUSBONUS~  
AND NOW, VOLTRON CHARACTERS AS TEXTS IVE RECEIVED IN THE PAST WEEK!

Lance:"I AM VERY UPSET  
NARUTO AND SASKUE ARE SO IN LOVE BUT THEY ARENT TOGETHER" *ten pictures of the two interacting together*

Hunk:"Yea I had the gr8 opportunity to throw up the minute my mom woke me up"

Shiro:"B Y e"

Keith:*an accidental audio message, where, no joke, the sender goes OOF"

Coran:* posts gross sc filter on sc story*  
Me: my retinas are burning  
Coran: is that good?*laugh/cry emoji*  
Me: is it usually a good thing when things are burning, Coran(sender's name)?  
Coran: Um...  
Coran: The burning desire in my heart?

Pidge:"I GOT AN 8 PLUS AND OML ITS SO BIG WTF I LOVW IT"

Me:*sends pic of my cat*  
Shay: Godlike boy

Allura: I'm talking about meth  
Allura: Math*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my new tumblr is https://www.tumblr.com/blog/uselesscompulsivebrainwash  
> i also have https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cockroachwhateverthefuck but i havent posted anything there yet. i might post whatever fan art i make there tho. or regular art. who knows.


	5. Fifth Set of Headcanons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these are headcanons mostly based off of s5. If you don’t want to see spoilers, you have been warned. Also, the keyboard on my laptop is broken, so I’m making this on my phone. Please excuse the format.

I’ve given up on numbering these. T-T

-remember last chapter when I went on this huge spiel on how Keith was less than half galra? But then Keith’s mom, Krolia, fucked that shit up. Also, she has a mullet? Hmmmmmm

-Lotor is definitely here to fuck us over. I voted foe and I’m going to stick by it DAMMIT

-haggar kept looking at lotor through some weird ass portal thing. Perhaps through clone shiros eyes?? Hm??? HMMMMM??

-that was the real shiro calling out to lance in the void IM CALLING IT NOW. Also, it could lead to black paladin lance. Js 

Now that I’ve run out of legitimate shit to say, it’s time for memes.

-Lance, talking to Keith: COUNTRY BOYY I LOOVE YOUUUUu

-Allura: I think I’m loosing it  
Shiro: what makes you say that?   
Allura: one of the mice sneezed and I said thank you

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can find me on:  
> tumblr: @uselesscompulsivebrainwash  
> @cockroachwhateverthefuck  
> @calenderanime  
> instagram:  
> @shampagne._

**Author's Note:**

> So funny story: once I was reading random headcanons, and I was like "yooo. we should have HEARTcanons. like headcanons are logical(the brain/head) and are something that could happen but just haven't happened yet. headcanons would be something we want(the heart yearns for it). I was so proud of myself for coming up with it so I texted my friend and told them. then, they texted me saying:  
> "so, like, fanons?" long story short I almost cried.
> 
> Also, follow me on tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/diamondmemes


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